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By Lulu Jeh | December 30th, 2022

Dear Lulu Jeh,

I’m in a relationship after being single for quite a while. My boyfriend has been nothing but thoughtful and sweet, but I just don’t seem to love him as much as he’s into me. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy being by his side, but every time I tell him “I love you” it just feels forced. It’s like I like him but not enough that I’m in love with him. What should I do? Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused,

Sounds like you are pretty clear on where you are: you like your boyfriend but not enough for you to be genuine in your relationship. So the next step will be to determine if you want to stay and work things out, or cut ties and go.

Ask yourself what you truly want. What brought you together and which qualities of your boyfriend’s attract you? Are you in it for the companionship, good memories or sense of comfort? Can you imagine your life without this person; or alternatively, picture a future together?

Personal feelings aside, you have to think about the morality of this situation. Is it fair to lead someone down a path of lies, even though you mean well? Things may feel like a bed of roses now, but further down the line you might find yourself at the same crossroads again as your relationship progresses.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. But before making a decision, make sure you’re staying true to yourself while being sensible and compassionate. Don’t underestimate the power of communication — sometimes, an open and mature conversation does 50% of the hard work. Good luck, and hope you both find the happiness you deserve.

–Lulu

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous relationship advice. Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice here.

  • By Lulu Jeh | December 30th, 2022

    Dear Lulu Jeh,

    I’m in a relationship after being single for quite a while. My boyfriend has been nothing but thoughtful and sweet, but I just don’t seem to love him as much as he’s into me. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy being by his side, but every time I tell him “I love you” it just feels forced. It’s like I like him but not enough that I’m in love with him. What should I do? Dazed and Confused

    Dear Dazed and Confused,

    Sounds like you are pretty clear on where you are: you like your boyfriend but not enough for you to be genuine in your relationship. So the next step will be to determine if you want to stay and work things out, or cut ties and go.

    Ask yourself what you truly want. What brought you together and which qualities of your boyfriend’s attract you? Are you in it for the companionship, good memories or sense of comfort? Can you imagine your life without this person; or alternatively, picture a future together?

    Personal feelings aside, you have to think about the morality of this situation. Is it fair to lead someone down a path of lies, even though you mean well? Things may feel like a bed of roses now, but further down the line you might find yourself at the same crossroads again as your relationship progresses.

    There’s no right or wrong answer here. But before making a decision, make sure you’re staying true to yourself while being sensible and compassionate. Don’t underestimate the power of communication — sometimes, an open and mature conversation does 50% of the hard work. Good luck, and hope you both find the happiness you deserve.

    –Lulu

    Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous relationship advice. Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice here.