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By Lulu Jeh | May 18th, 2023

Dear Lulu Jeh,

I’m a 30-year-old woman who has been in a long-term relationship for the past five years. Recently, I’ve been feeling like something is missing. I love my partner, but I don’t feel the same level of excitement or passion that I used to. We’ve tried spicing things up in the bedroom, going on romantic dates, and even taking a vacation, but reigniting the passion that I once felt is gone. I’m worried that I’ve fallen out of love and I’ll never feel that way again. What can I do to reignite the passion and feel in love again?

— Little Miss Ready-to-Reignite-the-Flame

Dear Little Miss Ready-to-Reignite-the-Flame,

I hear you, darling. It can be tough when those feelings of passion and excitement start to fade in a long-term relationship. But don’t lose hope just yet! It’s important to remember that love is not a static emotion but a dynamic and evolving experience.

First, it’s essential to recognize that feeling disconnected from your partner is normal and happens to many couples. However, it’s also essential to take action to address these feelings. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you’d like to see changed in the relationship. Sometimes, simply expressing your desires and concerns can be a powerful first step in reigniting passion.

Next, try to inject some novelty and excitement into your relationship. This could be as simple as trying a new restaurant together, taking a dance class, or going on a weekend getaway. The key is to do something that breaks the routine and creates a sense of adventure and exploration.

Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Self-care is an essential component of any healthy relationship. Take some time to do the things you love, whether that’s reading a book, taking a bath, or spending time with friends. When you’re happy and fulfilled on your own, you bring that positive energy into all aspects of your life, including your relationship. Just read our Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Wellbeing for some helpful tips!

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to reigniting passion in a relationship. But with patience, communication, and a willingness to be vulnerable, you can create a deeper and more fulfilling connection with your partner.

Love and light,

Lulu Jeh


Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous advice.

Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice here.