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By Lulu Jeh | July 16th, 2021

Dear Lulu Jeh,

Ever since my friend got married, her attitude has changed. Not in a drastic way, but very subtly. She disagrees with pretty much every single thing I say. They’re usually small things, and I always welcome debate on differing opinions, but at this point I’m starting to wonder if there’s any point in us being friends. Is this a thing that married people do? — Avoiding Arguments

 

Dear AA: It’s true that friendships often change after a person gets married — and all in very different ways. Think about it: Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you can undertake in life, and with it comes all kinds of lifestyle changes — and that possibly includes a reshaping of their outlook on life and other relationships.

Maybe her marriage has coincided with a time of growth where she feels she wants to speak up about her opinions. Maybe you are simply outgrowing each other. Maybe you’ll never know, and that’s okay. People have differing opinions, like you say, and there’s nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

If these are not life-or-death topics that are causing a divide, then I would suggest you simply let it go and see it as another change to embrace as we grow and move forward.

 

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.
Want more dating advice? Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice.

  • By Lulu Jeh | July 16th, 2021

    Dear Lulu Jeh,

    Ever since my friend got married, her attitude has changed. Not in a drastic way, but very subtly. She disagrees with pretty much every single thing I say. They’re usually small things, and I always welcome debate on differing opinions, but at this point I’m starting to wonder if there’s any point in us being friends. Is this a thing that married people do? — Avoiding Arguments

     

    Dear AA: It’s true that friendships often change after a person gets married — and all in very different ways. Think about it: Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you can undertake in life, and with it comes all kinds of lifestyle changes — and that possibly includes a reshaping of their outlook on life and other relationships.

    Maybe her marriage has coincided with a time of growth where she feels she wants to speak up about her opinions. Maybe you are simply outgrowing each other. Maybe you’ll never know, and that’s okay. People have differing opinions, like you say, and there’s nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

    If these are not life-or-death topics that are causing a divide, then I would suggest you simply let it go and see it as another change to embrace as we grow and move forward.

     

    Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.
    Want more dating advice? Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice.