Dear Lulu Jeh, I am worried about my girlfriend, who seems to have bad mood swings 24/7. It seems like she is starting to alienate our friends, and as a result we are spending almost every second of our free time together. It’s not that I don’t love hanging out with her, but I think it’s healthy for couples to have some me-time too. Is there a way I can help her get on better terms with our friends, so she’s not alone with just me all the time? I am worried that I’m spending too much time with my partner. — Seeking Me-time
Dear SM: Kudos to you for recognizing that all relationships would benefit from each person spending some me-time away from their partner. And you’re certainly right to ask, “am I spending too much time with my partner?”
There are multiple concerns here. You are worried that your girlfriend’s friendships are breaking down, and as a result, you think that she is clinging to you and not letting you have time to yourself (or herself).
But do you know if this is actually the case? Perhaps she has very different reasons to not hanging out with her friends — she could be tired, or she’s too busy because of work. She could genuinely be wanting to spend more time with you.
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