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By Andrea Lo | January 6th, 2020

Dear Lulu Jeh: How often is too often to be talking to my ex? He and I broke up six months ago and we meet up for dinner once a month. My friends tell me this is unhealthy but I like to think that we are friends and I often advise him on dating issues. — Am I Clingy

Dear AIC, boundaries are set based on personal preference. If you feel comfortable with the arrangement, then in theory there is nothing wrong with that.

However, you need to ask yourself why you have this arrangement in the first place. Going out to dinner with your ex sounds awfully like a date to me. What do you guys talk about on these dinner dates? Why do you advise him on his dating issues (surely there’s an element of conflict of interest there)? What is the reason for you setting these up in the first place?

If you are going out to dinner simply because you guys are friends, that’s fine. But you need to know in your heart of hearts that you don’t have a hidden agenda of getting back together. Meeting up with someone “for old times’ sake” can be a slippery slope — if you still have feelings for that someone.

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.
Want more dating advice? Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice.