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The Best Of Hong Kong
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By Lulu Jeh | July 20th, 2020

Is it okay to reach out to my ex-girlfriend during COVID-19 just to check how she is? TBH I would love to get back together with her because it’s such a lonely time for all of us. — Reminiscing About the Past 

Dear RAP,

During periods of uncertainty in our lives, it’s easy to think back to happier times and miss what you had. We all do it. 

But please do not use the pandemic as an excuse to rekindle past loves — at least without thinking through the issues you had and why you broke up in the first place.

If you would have wanted to get back together with them without the pandemic, then by all means, reach out. But I really think you’re only hoping to get in touch with them because you’re in need of attention, and as you say, because you’re “lonely.” (Not to mention, since Hong Kong is in an exceedingly fortunate position where the number of locally transmitted cases remain low, at least for now, your intentions might appear completely transparent to your ex). 

That kind of attitude totally kills relationships. You should approach every relationship with a full cup, not with a gaping hole you’re hoping the other person could fill. If you’re hoping to have someone around constantly while things are quiet and stagnant, then I can tell you this relationship has no chance of surviving long-term.

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.
Want more dating advice? Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice.