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By Lulu Jeh | August 10th, 2021

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous relationship advice.
Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice here.

Dear Lulu Jeh,

I’ve had enough of Hong Kong. Between the chaotic protests, the crazy-strict COVID measures, and the new regulations that have been imposed on the city these past few years, the city has completely lost its appeal to me. I’m lucky enough to have a choice of several other countries to move to, and I’m currently in the process of evaluating which next destination suits me best. 

The problem is my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for almost two years now, and I would love for him to move with me once I’ve made up my mind as to where to go. Things are quite serious between us and we have talked marriage and children down the road. He holds a foreign passport and grew up overseas, so it’s not exactly like Hong Kong is the only city he has lived in. However, he has indicated that besides myself, there is very little reason for him to want to move. He loves the city, his career is thriving, and he loves the lifestyle that Hong Kong has to offer. He doesn’t think the grass is greener anywhere else, as far as he is concerned. 

What are my options then, realistically? I’ve made up my mind that Hong Kong is not it for me, but he also seems to have come to the opposite conclusion. Are we going to end up star-crossed lovers? 

 — Stuck On Him 

Dear SOH,

I feel you. Not sure if this is exactly what you want to hear, but this seems like a situation where compromises will have to be made, and there might not be a completely happy ending. I would advise you to conduct your research first, and pinpoint exactly where it is you want to be, and when.

With a set destination and a firm timeline to move, at least you and your boyfriend will have something to argue for or against, rather than debate in the abstract. You might find that once you do get to this more concrete part of the situation, that you or your boyfriend might be able to convince the other of their convictions. Who knows, he might persuade you that Hong Kong is still a better place to be — or you might be able to sell your awesome new destination to him.

If after some serious discussions, you still aren’t able to envision yourselves in the same city in the future, then it’s time to discuss the harder bits. Is it time to move on for both of you? Do you want to try it out long-distance? An open relationship to help with transition? Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck!

    • By Lulu Jeh | August 10th, 2021

    Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous relationship advice.
    Read more of Lulu Jeh’s sage advice here.

    Dear Lulu Jeh,

    I’ve had enough of Hong Kong. Between the chaotic protests, the crazy-strict COVID measures, and the new regulations that have been imposed on the city these past few years, the city has completely lost its appeal to me. I’m lucky enough to have a choice of several other countries to move to, and I’m currently in the process of evaluating which next destination suits me best. 

    The problem is my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for almost two years now, and I would love for him to move with me once I’ve made up my mind as to where to go. Things are quite serious between us and we have talked marriage and children down the road. He holds a foreign passport and grew up overseas, so it’s not exactly like Hong Kong is the only city he has lived in. However, he has indicated that besides myself, there is very little reason for him to want to move. He loves the city, his career is thriving, and he loves the lifestyle that Hong Kong has to offer. He doesn’t think the grass is greener anywhere else, as far as he is concerned. 

    What are my options then, realistically? I’ve made up my mind that Hong Kong is not it for me, but he also seems to have come to the opposite conclusion. Are we going to end up star-crossed lovers? 

     — Stuck On Him 

    Dear SOH,

    I feel you. Not sure if this is exactly what you want to hear, but this seems like a situation where compromises will have to be made, and there might not be a completely happy ending. I would advise you to conduct your research first, and pinpoint exactly where it is you want to be, and when.

    With a set destination and a firm timeline to move, at least you and your boyfriend will have something to argue for or against, rather than debate in the abstract. You might find that once you do get to this more concrete part of the situation, that you or your boyfriend might be able to convince the other of their convictions. Who knows, he might persuade you that Hong Kong is still a better place to be — or you might be able to sell your awesome new destination to him.

    If after some serious discussions, you still aren’t able to envision yourselves in the same city in the future, then it’s time to discuss the harder bits. Is it time to move on for both of you? Do you want to try it out long-distance? An open relationship to help with transition? Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck!