How do you know when you’re in a relationship?

Dear Lulu Jeh: If you’re an adult, and you’re seeing someone, how do you know when you’re in a relationship? Do you have to have the talk? — Anxious to Know

Hey there, ATK! This is an awkward but totally common problem. If you have to ask… you’re not in a serious relationship. You’d kinda know by now, right?

That’s not to say the guy/gal you’re seeing won’t lead to a serious relationship in the future, but if the status is unclear and you’re ready to move forward, then it might be time to have ‘the talk.’ After all, great couples are all about communicating and staying on the same page.

It sounds a little sophomoric, but I’m an advocate for the talk. If you’re scared to have the talk, then maybe that says something as well about the confidence you have in your connection. If you’re texting each other good night, showing affection, making plans beyond the weekend, meeting each other’s families, and getting physical, it’s safe to assume that there’s something strong between you two.

Some people argue that actions speak louder than words. To each their own, as always, but you asked for my advice and I’m not into that whole ‘show, don’t tell’ concept. I can’t read your mind and there’s a big difference between a serious commitment and a casual display of affection. So if you want to get on the same page, ATK, stop wasting time wondering and take the leap. — Lulu

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.