Dear Lulu Jeh: I met this girl out in SoHo and we’ve been on a few dates, but she is ridiculously flirtatious with my friends and it annoys me. I feel like it’s too soon to say anything because I’ll come off seeming like the crazy jealous type. What do I do? — Bitter Boy
It sounds like you’re still in those awkward early stages where it’s unclear if you’re together or not, which makes these kinds of convos tricky. But setting labels aside, it doesn’t feel good to watch a prospective SO flirt with all your friends. I hate to say it, but it’s not the BEST sign of a long life ahead together, particularly if she doesn’t treat you much differently than any of the other guys.
But let’s not jump to conclusions. Look on the bright side: she’s getting along with all your friends, and sounds like she could be a captivating person to be around — have you ever thought she might be trying to win you over, by chumming it up with your best buds? Granted it’s a really roundabout way to get closer to you, but is this outgoing behavior part of the reason you fell for her in the first place?
Don’t get too discouraged. It’s still early days, and if you’re not sure of her motivations then it’d be a mistake to go on the offense. On the other hand, if she’s really treating you like any other guy in the room, then it’s a red flag to run in the opposite direction — and take your friends with you!
Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to firstname.lastname@example.org for some anonymous dating advice.