Dear Lulu Jeh: My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. I found their sexts on his Whatsapp when I was (admittedly) snooping, but it proved that I was not “neurotic” after all.
It’s been about six months after our breakup, and we crossed paths at Volar the other night. He hasn’t stopped texting me since and wants to give it another go.
I do really miss him and am seriously considering it. Everyone makes mistakes right? — Try, Try Again
Dear TTA: How does the saying go? “Fool me once… shame on you. Fool me twice…” It sounds like your ex-boyfriend played some head games with you. Assuming you mentioned your suspicions and he called you “neurotic,” then he’s not just a liar — he’s also a manipulative asshole.
BUT, being one with my Buddhist heritage and all: if you can forgive him, you will grow as a person. It sounds like you have that capacity, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to get back together.
Can people change? Yes, of course, they can. We have to believe that people can grow and evolve — or we’re all screwed. But if you do decide to forgive, forget and forge ahead, don’t let him trick your instincts a second time.
Trust your gut. Oh, and also: nothing justifies snooping. If you’re prepared to make up, you should apologize for your mistakes too. — Lulu
Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to firstname.lastname@example.org for some anonymous dating advice