The Best of Hong Kong
Lifestyle News
By Lulu Jeh | May 20th, 2016

Dear Lulu Jeh: I’m crushing hard on this guy but I don’t think it’s reciprocated. How do I know for sure if I have a chance with him? Or I should just move on? — Unrequited Romantic

Well, UR, there are always telltale signs that someone is ‘into you’ or… not. If you’re not feeling a reciprocal connection then you can usually trust your instincts. But I understand sometimes it’s tricky to tell, especially if you’re dealing with a shy guy. To help paint a clear picture, let’s play a little game. Ask yourself a few questions and tally up the answers.

Does he hang around to talk with you when you cross paths? 

  • No, he usually shuffles to talk to his friends = 0 points
  • Well there was one time… = 1 point
  • Yeah, he has canceled a dinner before to chat longer. = 2 points

Does he initiate plans with you (outside the hours of 1-5am)?

  • No, but I do often hear from him at 1am. = 0 points
  • Yeah, but never just one-on-one. = 1 point
  • Yep, he took me to dinner last week. = 2 points

Does he flirt with you… and only you? 

  • I don’t think I’d call it ‘flirting.’ But one time he asked me to pass the salt. = 0 points
  • Maybe? He is really outgoing and friendly, so it’s kind of hard to tell. = 1 point
  • I haven’t noticed him flirting to other guys/gals since we had our first drink… = 2 points

Does he regularly flake on you? 

  • Three out of the last four times… yes. = 0 points
  • Yeah, but that’s just Hong Kong right? = 1 point
  • He did flake one time, but suggested dinner the next day instead. = 2 points

Does he make eye contact when talking, and position his body towards yours?

  • He kinda looks around the room when I talk. = 0 points
  • He usually does this lean on the bar thing, but not sure it’s only with me. = 1 point
  • Yeah, now that I think of it, our knees are usually touching when we’re at the bar. = 2 points

Does he regularly make moves, ahem, physically?

  • Does asking me to borrow some money count? = 0 points
  • We’ve haven’t gotten that far yet. But I *think* I feel some sexual tension accumulating. = 1 point
  • I made the first move, but he made the second and third. = 2 points

Okay, now go ahead and tally it up. If you have 6-12 points, then there’s a chance he’s into you. If you’ve got 0-6, I think it’s a one-way street. — Lulu

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice. 

    • By Lulu Jeh | May 20th, 2016

    Dear Lulu Jeh: I’m crushing hard on this guy but I don’t think it’s reciprocated. How do I know for sure if I have a chance with him? Or I should just move on? — Unrequited Romantic

    Well, UR, there are always telltale signs that someone is ‘into you’ or… not. If you’re not feeling a reciprocal connection then you can usually trust your instincts. But I understand sometimes it’s tricky to tell, especially if you’re dealing with a shy guy. To help paint a clear picture, let’s play a little game. Ask yourself a few questions and tally up the answers.

    Does he hang around to talk with you when you cross paths? 

    • No, he usually shuffles to talk to his friends = 0 points
    • Well there was one time… = 1 point
    • Yeah, he has canceled a dinner before to chat longer. = 2 points

    Does he initiate plans with you (outside the hours of 1-5am)?

    • No, but I do often hear from him at 1am. = 0 points
    • Yeah, but never just one-on-one. = 1 point
    • Yep, he took me to dinner last week. = 2 points

    Does he flirt with you… and only you? 

    • I don’t think I’d call it ‘flirting.’ But one time he asked me to pass the salt. = 0 points
    • Maybe? He is really outgoing and friendly, so it’s kind of hard to tell. = 1 point
    • I haven’t noticed him flirting to other guys/gals since we had our first drink… = 2 points

    Does he regularly flake on you? 

    • Three out of the last four times… yes. = 0 points
    • Yeah, but that’s just Hong Kong right? = 1 point
    • He did flake one time, but suggested dinner the next day instead. = 2 points

    Does he make eye contact when talking, and position his body towards yours?

    • He kinda looks around the room when I talk. = 0 points
    • He usually does this lean on the bar thing, but not sure it’s only with me. = 1 point
    • Yeah, now that I think of it, our knees are usually touching when we’re at the bar. = 2 points

    Does he regularly make moves, ahem, physically?

    • Does asking me to borrow some money count? = 0 points
    • We’ve haven’t gotten that far yet. But I *think* I feel some sexual tension accumulating. = 1 point
    • I made the first move, but he made the second and third. = 2 points

    Okay, now go ahead and tally it up. If you have 6-12 points, then there’s a chance he’s into you. If you’ve got 0-6, I think it’s a one-way street. — Lulu

    Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.