14 Hong Kong Apartment Hunting Problems

So you’re looking for a new flat but keep hitting a wall? You’re not alone. Apartment hunting in Hong Kong is a total nightmare.

1. You find an apartment with a great view… over a construction site. On the bright side, you won’t need an alarm clock. There’s a totally reliable 7am jackhammer that’ll get the job done.

2. You find a beautiful seventh-floor walkup with a huge rooftop and views of Victoria Harbour. But how are you supposed to get your groceries up in here?

3. You tour an apartment with a “saleable” area of 1,000 square feet, but the “net” is only 100 square feet. What are you waiting for — you could be the lucky inhabitant of a 900-square-foot window sill!

4. Kinda smells like cats in here…

5. Oh, that explains it. Do they come with the lease?

6. You hate to be picky, but… where’s the kitchen? Or the sink? Or the fridge?

7. OMG can it be? Is that an OVEN? Sign. Us. Up.

8. There’s no washer or dryer, but you can hang your laundry out the window. Caveat emptor: first sign of a Typhoon 3 and your leopard onesie’s in the wind.

9. Your Google history says it all: “coffee grinds or cockroach eggs?” / “what exactly is saleable area?” / “will black mold kill me?” / “anyone need a roommate?”

10. You learn the hard way. Those tiny brown balls aren’t coffee grinds.

11. You find a flat that’s perfect, aside from a wall full of black mold. But not to worry: your lease comes with a complimentary gallon of bleach and a dozen face masks.

12. Craigslist is full of incredible deals. All you have to do is transfer two months’ deposit to the landlord’s sick uncle’s wife in Nigeria and then they’ll send the keys, no strings attached.

13. You found another awesome apartment but this one’s listed on squarefoot.com.hk/haunted.

14. Three weeks into your new lease, you wake up in total darkness. But wait, are those jackhammers? Is that bamboo outside? Are these… scaffolding tarps?