Dear Lulu Jeh: I moved to Hong Kong a few years ago and I haven’t been in a relationship in the whole time that I’ve been here — I find that I just haven’t clicked with anybody. During a session of deep overthinking, I started wondering what attracts me to people and I came to the conclusion that if someone has not hurt me, then that makes me like them. And then I realized that’s actually a mark of someone with really low standards. Do you think that Hong Kong makes women have low standards? — Desperately Seeking Standards
Dear DSS, it’s not that you have low standards. It’s just that the pool itself just isn’t that big to begin with, and as a result you start to lower your expectations in order to find a suitable mate.
I have seen this happen to women (and men too) in Hong Kong — but I’m not saying this is the case for everybody. Many people successfully find partners in this city. In all likelihood, what’s really happened here is that you simply haven’t managed to find anyone, due to a combination of timing, personality differences, and maybe even the demands of work and other responsibilities.
You probably went way down on a rabbit hole with this one during your deep overthinking. What you need to do is not blame the environment around you, and stay positive.