Dear Lulu Jeh: I moved in with my girlfriend about six months ago. She loves to cook, which is amazing, but she doesn’t really do anything else. Like ANYTHING else. I am happy to clean the dishes, since I’m getting a delicious dinner every night, but there’s also the laundry, changing sheets, sweeping, taking out the trash…. Part of the reason I do more chores is because she works insanely long hours, so I feel like I should help out, but my nice gesture is starting to get old. — Hands-On Honey
Aww, HOH, I don’t blame you for being a bit miffed. When you moved in together, did you ever just talk about which chores you both prefer to do? Or divide it up in some way that will balance out the workload a bit more? Maybe she’s a wiz at making the bed but hates doing laundry — obviously the only way forward is to find some compromises to make your home responsibilities a bit more balanced.
Whether you’re in a relationship or in an office, an unbalanced workload will start grinding on you, particularly if there’s no end in sight. But don’t let it get so far under your skin that you can’t simply pull out the splinter.
There’s no harm in nicely asking her if she can take on a couple more chores around the house, perhaps the two that are least time consuming or could be done once a week, since she’s working at all hours. But, let’s be honest, how long does it take to take out the trash?! While you’re at it, let her know it’d mean a lot to you and maybe even free you up to make dinner one night. Maybe! — Lulu
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