Dear Lulu Jeh,

I recently discovered some devastating news that can break my friendship and family apart. I found out that my best friend of 20 years has been sleeping with my sister’s husband for over a year now.

I caught them in the act when I went to my sister’s home to feed her dog (she gave me a spare key). I couldn’t believe what I saw but instead of shouting, I just ran away. I feel I’ve been put through an uncomfortable situation and can’t face it. My best friend has kept calling me since it happened last week and my sister keeps questioning why I’m avoiding her.

I don’t really know what to do in this situation but I’m hoping you can help me and point me in the right direction at least. I’m just feeling disgusted, guilty, and overwhelmed by this uncomfortable situation.

 — Sis in need

Hi Sis in need,

Aiya. This is certainly a tough conundrum to be in. I’m guessing your head is telling you, who do you show your loyalty to? Your best friend of 20 years or your sister?

First things first, it’s okay to be overwhelmed by a situation like this. Your sacred friendship trust has been broken by someone you knew for 20 years. It’s not your fault that they committed this act behind your and your sister’s backs.

The first step would be to speak to your best friend and find out how & why this has happened. Give yourself the time you need to muster up the courage to speak to her. I would encourage her to tell the truth to your sister and have an intervention-style conversation. This might put you and your sister in an uncomfortable predicament but it’s probably best she knows this about her husband too. I would put myself in your sister’s shoes and think about how she would want to hear this.

You might feel guilty for knowing about this situation but it’s better that you take the time to make the best decision.

Good luck!

— Lulu

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