Dear Lulu Jeh,
As Chinese New Year is approaching, my boyfriend has been making it very clear that his family wants to see me during the festival. The thing is, I’m not ready yet. We’ve been together for about 3 months and it’s just too early to meet and sit down with his entire family. I’ve expressed how I feel but he’s not budging. What should I do? – Scaredy Cat
Dear Scaredy Cat,
Everyone takes things at their own pace, and it’s totally understandable that you don’t feel like it’s the right time to do something in your relationship. No matter how long you’ve been dating someone, meeting their family for the first time can be quite stressful, especially when they come from a huge one.
Always listen to the voice in your heart, and don’t let anyone convince you it’s an act of selfishness. Communicate with your boyfriend, share with him any concerns you may have and see how you can overcome them as a couple. Maybe schedule this “official” first meeting to a later major festival such as Dragon Boat Festival or Mid Autumn Festival, so that you have more time to prepare yourself while the formality is not lost.
If you decide against going, perform an act of courtesy and goodwill by sending a thoughtful gift. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive or unique thing in the world — but a way to let his family know that you do care about them.
Best of luck, and a peaceful Chinese New Year to you!