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By Andrea Lo | July 15th, 2018

Dear Lulu Jeh: I dated a girl many years ago and we managed to stay friends. Recently she hooked up with a few girls we know. I’m not especially close with them, but I would still really prefer for that not to happen. Am I being petty? — Petty LaBelle

 

Dear Petty LaBelle: What sounds petty on paper does not, and should not, always apply to the emotions we feel IRL. You guys had history together, and of course it hurts to see her with someone else.

But you also have to remember that she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s not obligated to back away from dating certain people, just because of you. Of course, it’d be a considerate thing for her to refrain from seeing people you know, but there is by no means a law that says this has to happen.

If you truly feel like it’s something that’s bothering you a lot, then there is only one thing you can do: remove yourself from situations where you might see her.

But ultimately, this kind of thing demands a change in mindset. Ask yourself: are you really over her? Why do you care so much? Is it because you don’t want to see her with someone else? I would encourage you to sit down and think this through.

Have a question for Lulu Jeh? Write to letters@theloophk.com for some anonymous dating advice.

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