Dear Lulu Jeh: I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years now, and we get along brilliantly on our own — but as soon as we’re with a group of friends, she instantly transforms from Dr. Jekyll to tai tai Hyde. She’ll take every chance to belittle me, getting her friends to laugh at my expense. At first I would just laugh along with them, but now it’s gotten to the point that I can’t tell whether she’s being funny or just a jerk. Am I too uptight? — Getting Smacked
Dear GS: Sure, you might just have a girl with a different sense of humor, but it doesn’t sound terribly good natured. You’ve been a pretty good sport up to this point, but it’s time to stop going with the flow for the sake of being “easygoing” and “good humored” and confront her. Maybe she is just really shit at flirting, or perhaps she it’s a result of low self esteem. No matter the case, she won’t know that she’s hurting you unless you tell her.
From there, it goes two ways: she didn’t realize, apologizes profusely, respects your personal threshold for trash talk, or… she was cutting you down on purpose all along. Then you’ll have to decide whether to take it, or cut her out of your life. — Lulu