Dear Lulu Jeh: I’m a pretty successful banker. I’m in my late 20s, dating an awesome girl around my age. Well, mostly awesome — except for the fact that she expects me to pay for every single thing.
She never offers to cover any expenses, or even shows gratitude when I foot the bill. And when we happen to pass by a shop she likes and she happens to eye something she wants, I’m always the one who pulls out the wallet.
I know I make more money, but am I justified in feeling a bit irked about this? I mean, it’s 2016 FFS! — Scrooge in the Making
You’re exactly right. It’s 2016, not 1955 — seriously, does your girl know that? If you two were still in the early stages of dating, it would’ve been alright for you to splurge a bit and try to impress her, but it seems like you’ve been at it for a while and there’s no end in sight to your magnanimous spending.
The only way to solve your problem is to lay it out on the table, credit cards and all. Tell your girlfriend that you love to pamper her when the occasion calls — but she needs to hold up her end of the bargain by reciprocating with her own tokens of generosity.
Ask her straight up: If you stopped paying for her shit all the time, would she have a problem with it? If so, tell her we live in the 21st century, women have been fighting for decades to achieve equality, and it’s not for her to set back the clock.
Tell her that this behavior comes off as superficial and makes you wonder if she’s in this relationship for your paycheck. I don’t think you need to be subtle at all about your situation. She sure as hell isn’t. — Lulu
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